Halloween (2007): 31 Days of Horror
For all of October, we will review horror films. Submit your requests here, and you may see your picks selected!
At this point (well, maybe ten years ago), I’m convinced Rob Zombie’s films sell by name alone (outside of the fanbase of his that actually do love his films, who I apologize to in advance for this scathing review). An obvious horror fanatic (and arguably one of the genre’s greatest aficionados ever), Zombie seemed like the perfect guy to try and remake a film like John Carpenter’s Halloween. He dedicated himself to finding more about Michael Myers, and why he ticks the way that he does, whereas Carpenter’s original film gives us zero answers at all, allowing our fears to fill in the blanks. Zombie as a musician was never a full on shock-rock kind of guy, unlike Marilyn Manson or the like. Despite all the imagery and stage theatrics, Zombie’s music (either his solo stuff or White Zombie) is straight up hard rock with some gruesome lyrical imagery. Otherwise, I’d say the guy has his head screwed on and prioritized making jams over obscenities.
Well, his films aren’t made the same way at all. Myers’ backstory in Halloween is so full of hatred, it actually becomes irritating. “bUt ThAt’S tHe PoInT, aNdReAs!”, you might say. You might be right. You’re meant to feel the anguish and lack of warmth that a young Michael Myers as a kid was plagued with. I get all of that. That doesn’t excuse the film from being so addicted to anger and hatred. I felt no sympathy for anyone at all, outside of those that were preyed upon by Myers (and the people that had to watch this film). I’m glad that it’s a remake that tries something different, as all remakes should. However, what Zombie attempts with Halloween is just miserable to watch. Deep down, there is a slight shred of respect, because he clearly knows what the best horror flicks look like (especially those B pictures that have been resurrected by the internet). It just doesn’t work at all here. Things can be too gritty, too dark, and too much.
Hide! There’s a sequel coming!
I honestly don’t have much more to say outside of that. What more can I go on about with a film that pummels your head into the ground until your cranium is ground up into dust? A horror film still has to be enjoyable; before I get attacked, enjoyable doesn’t always mean fun or happy, as in this case it’s something that is at least likeable. Halloween isn’t even challenging in any thought provoking way. It’s just excess. Excessive swearing, angry stares, dated editing and special effects meant to feel spooky, and tropes.
Then, there was a sequel. Here’s a brief review.
To be fair, that review might not be accurate, but it remains, to this day, the only film I have ever walked out on halfway through. I was a late teenager seeing this in a theatre, and I got a text from some buddies asking if they wanted to go for all-you-can-eat sushi (texting in the theatre was okay: I think it was just my friend and I who were in there). I was at the part where Weird Al appears on a talk show as himself (he’s the only person worth a damn in either film, mind you). Halloween II was more annoying, more exploitative, and more try-hard than the first film. I did like the eerie ghost imagery, but that’s literally it. This was the one film that bothered me to death. Likely, I’d finish the film nowadays, because I’ve certainly seen worse films in their full duration, and I can stomach more now. However, do I really want to devote more time to this film? No. So, Halloween II remains the only film I never finished. I recall F-bombs, hateful characters, unnecessarily large amounts of toxicity, Weird Al, and delicious green dragon rolls that never stopped coming. I like to leave it on that happy final note.
Andreas Babiolakis has a Masters degree in Film and Photography Preservation and Collections Management from Ryerson University, as well as a Bachelors degree in Cinema Studies from York University. His favourite times of year are the Criterion Collection flash sales and the annual Toronto International Film Festival.