Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom
Written by Cameron Geiser
How can I possibly describe this disaster of a film? There are some choice words that come to mind. Derivative, passionless, predictable, clichéd, and obligatory. Worst of all though is the simple fact that Aquaman 2: The Lost Kingdom is just a boring movie. As someone who quite enjoyed the first movie and embraced the zany Gonzo nature of the underwater blockbuster, this is a massive departure from what worked in the first film. In fact, this sequel has everything we consider to be the mistakes of the *now-confirmed* dying Superhero deluge of films. I'm sure the genre will stick around and have some massive hits from time to time, but from now on I doubt these movies will be the center of Hollywood's attention and moviegoers' wallets in the future.
In the opening scene, Jason Momoa's Arthur Curry playfully depicts some of his recent superhero antics through action figure pantomiming to his young son. This is appropriate given that I assume the pitch meeting for the film was essentially that. Anyways, the bouncing baby boy takes this opportunity to piss directly in his father's mouth. That kid may as well have been pissing in my mouth for the remainder of the film- which ultimately may have been more entertaining. Let's just get this out of the way: the script sucks. I can't be nice about it- this is awful, juvenile, and amateur-hour stuff. Remember, I liked the first film.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is poorly-written drivel that reminds you of the worst elements of the superhero genre while it’s on its way out.
One of the worst sins of the film was wasting the talents of the cast and crew both on screen and behind the camera. I know these people are skilled, but this movie was made by a committee, not artists. Halfway through the film, I still hadn't seen a trace of director James Wan's signature style anywhere and assumed he had just departed before this ship sank, but his name was in the credits to my dismay. This is an unfortunate blemish in his filmography. Throughout the whole film, there is an atmosphere, despite what is being done or said, of blockbuster malaise, an epidemic of ennui so to say. There seems to be none of the joy that was apparent in the first Aquaman- this feels like contracted work as opposed to the summer camp vibes of that film. The one bright spot honestly is Patrick Wilson's villain Orm from the first film. Much like Christian Bale's Gorr the God Butcher in Thor: Love and Thunder, Wilson is acting in an entirely different movie than the rest of the cast; it’s maybe not quite as exaggerated as that film, but it is very noticeable here too.
Ironically, this was the first film I've seen since theaters reopened in 2021 where the Nicole Kidman speech wasn't aired before the movie. This movie is also one of the only ones that I've seen to actually star Nicole Kidman in that time. Why she was put in action sequences where she must yell at the top of her lungs and remind us all of the fragility of time is unknown to me. Anyway, all I can do at this point is recommend you go see The Boy and The Heron instead. That film deserves your time and money. This one does not.
Cameron Geiser is an avid consumer of films and books about filmmakers. He'll watch any film at least once, and can usually be spotted at the annual Traverse City Film Festival in Northern Michigan. He also writes about film over at www.spacecortezwrites.com.