Written by Andreas Babiolakis

I believe in the notion that you can’t catch lightning in a bottle twice. If something is great beyond the means, control, or intention of the creator, said creator should never try to capture these kinds of gracious miracles, nor should any other well-intentioned artist try to pull off the dirty work for them. Case in point: Nickelodeon’s disastrously amazing Good Burger is so stupid that I adore it. I did not grow up with the film or All That either, so there’s no nostalgic bias here. Good Burger is not actually a good film, and yet its ineptitude, buffoonery, and nonsensical ways are fascinating.

Of course, Good Burger 2 was going to be bad news from square one. You cannot recreate the idiotically-charged electricity of the first film, because much of what works wasn’t by design. Good Burger 2 acknowledges that people love how dumb the first film is, so it tries to be dumber. It doesn’t really work. Outside of a couple of jokes that made me laugh, Good Burger 2 tries too hard. You love how insane the opening nightmare sequence is? Let’s make it worse! You know the weird charm that “dude” song Ed sings is? Let’s beat it to death! Let’s recycle jokes, gags, and ideas from the first film, toss in a bit of a concern about the AI takeover as a major plot point (while admitting that AI would do a great job so long as someone doesn’t program it for bad, I guess?), and hope that it works. It doesn’t.

However, it makes sense that Good Burger 2 was never going to aim for greatness, so writing a thorough, analytical review for a film that is not meant to be taken seriously feels pointless and, quite frankly, wrong. Instead, let’s have a bit of fun and imagine that Ed himself is reviewing the film, and perhaps you’ll get my takeaways through this poor attempt of a tribute.

Hey, dudes! It’s Ed here! Ed as in that Ed! No. Not that Ed. That’s my aunt. Ed from Good Burger! Good Burger as in the restaurant, as in the movie, as in the sequel, as in the skit, as in the franchise, as in the food franchise, as in the restaurant of the food franchise of the sequel of the film based on the skit. That Good Burger! Now you got it!

I’m trying to review Good Burger 2 but I don’t get how that makes sense. I viewed the movie and now I gotta view it again? Do I have to review to review the movie? That doesn’t make sense to me. Oh well. I watched Good Burger 2 twice, because the 2 in the name told me to. Then I watched it 2 more times because I had to review it, so that’s 4 times! That’s almost 5! Should I watch it 5 times? Hold on.

Alright, I’m back! Wow, guess what happens the fifth time you watch Good Burger 2 (or is it Good Burger 10 now?)? The same thing the first four times! Darn, you guessed. Oh well. So I start off Good Burger 2 by saying “Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?”, and I actually take a dude’s order. Wow!

You wouldn’t believe it. The next thing that happens is my best friend Dexter, Dex, Dexty, Dextarino, or Dexter. He shows up! He wants to work at Good Burger again! Alright! He’s like some inventor, bazillionaire, genius now or something. Why does he want to work at Good Burger again? Maybe he missed the milkshakes. Oh, I gotta unclog the machine again! Wait one second.

I’m back!

Did you miss me?

Why aren’t you saying anything?

Ah well.

So Dexter comes back and he’s all amazed at how different everything is, and then I show him my family including my son Ed 2, Edie my wife, and all my kids. Dexter’s niece Mia, who works at Good Burger, is super angry at him. I’m not sure why. Anyway, it’s cool to have Dexter back! Oh, did I tell you I own Good Burger? I didn’t? Bummer. I own Good Burger. Now you know!

Hold on, I forgot what happens next. I need to watch it again.

Alright, that’s 6!

So a bunch of lawyer dudes keep wanting me to tell Good Burger, and I tell them Good Burger’s not for sale. Eventually, Katt, who is the sister of that Kurt dude from Mondo Burger from the first Good Burger works for MegaCorp, and she wants to buy Good Burger too. Not Good Burger 2. Paramount bought that. Not Good Burger to because I don’t think that’s a thing. Is it a thing? Good Burger too. It turns out the lawyer dudes worked for Katt, and that makes me sad. I guess Katt was super angry because of all of that Kurt stuff, and I don’t remember why. Did something happen? Did I forget pickles in his burger?

I have to review Good Burger now.

Alright! I’ve seen it again!

So Katt is all upset because Dexter and I got sent to a psych ward and she was sad, I guess? She loved our dance moves so much that she made robots that can dance just like me. Also, they can take Good Burger orders as well. Is it take orders or make orders? Because I make the food, but if I take the order, does that mean I eat it?

Dexter tells me that he’s sorry for trying to cheat me out of what I love doing the most (Good Burger!), and that he won’t do it again, and so we both stop the bad company from taking over Good Burger and the day is saved!

Wait, I think that’s the story for the first movie. Let me rewatch Good Burger 2 again.

Lucky number 7!

Okay, so in this movie, Dexter tells me that he’s sorry for trying to cheat me out of what I love doing the most (Good Burger!), and that he won’t do it again, and so we both stop the bad company from taking over Good Burger and the day is saved!

Did I miss anything?

Let me check.

Nope. That’s 8 whole times I’ve seen Good Burger 16! That’s almost 17!

Thanks dudes!

Andreas Babiolakis has a Masters degree in Film and Photography Preservation and Collections Management from Ryerson University, as well as a Bachelors degree in Cinema Studies from York University. His favourite times of year are the Criterion Collection flash sales and the annual Toronto International Film Festival.