Written by Cameron Geiser

It’s been a long time since 1993, a very long time indeed. The Steven Spielberg blockbuster starring Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum changed the course of major film releases for decades to come, not to mention the fact that the film wasn’t just good, it was groundbreaking. Twenty-nine years later the Jurassic film series is still going, but the magic is gone, folks. It’s dead in the water. The sixth film in the franchise, Jurassic World Dominion gave me a sensation that I hadn’t felt since Star Wars ep. 9 The Rise of Skywalker- one of defeated malaise. My time with this trilogy eerily mirrored that of the last three films in the Skywalker saga. Both The Force Awakens and Jurassic World were entertaining in their own right, they even felt like the legacy sequels were setting up something special for their new trilogy prospects. Then both of their sequels happened.

Admittedly, I do not hate The Last Jedi, I think it has serious flaws at times, but it was at least trying for something different within its decade spanning film saga. The same cannot be said for the following Jurrassic sequel in Fallen Kingdom. The script felt clunky and inept, it furthered all of the first film’s worst instincts, and the ending with Maisie Lockwood’s (Isabella Sermon) impulsive decision to doom humanity by releasing Dinosaurs into the wild because “They’re just like me” was not only cringe inducing, but actively stupid. If you’re late to Fallen Kingdom’s final reveal, that Maisie’s a clone, welcome to the confusing mess that this series has become. Similarly to The Rise of Skywalker, Dominion is constantly, breathlessly, racing from scene to scene as fast as possible so you don’t take the time to consider what your eyeballs just absorbed before moving onto the next equally ludicrous idea on display.

That being said, there was one saving grace that made the film watchable for me, and his name is Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum). Mercifully, this film not only gives us more Malcolm, but he’s involved in the proceedings far more than I had expected. He’s the most consistent character, and seemingly the only sane human left. I could give a summary of the plot, but it’s a garbled mess for the most part. What I will tell you is that Dinosaurs running amok around the world is not the actual threat of the film. Which is flat out baffling in my opinion. No, the real threat are some genetically enhanced giant locusts. You heard me, locusts. Now, would giant locusts that have been genetically modified to only consume a giant corporation’s competitor’s crops be a seriously dangerous threat to global food supply and potentially be a game ender for humanity? Sure, but why is that in a Jurassic World/Park movie? I feel like the bigger issue is the giant Dinosaurs clashing with humanity. Right? This movie made me feel like I was going insane at times. Not to mention the leaps and bounds you have to make to suspend disbelief in this film.

The number one thing that the Jurassic World series has gotten wrong from the start is the way the films treat Dinosaurs overall. They’re no longer animals that we’ve revived for our own curiosity’s sake with all the charm and spectacle that that deserves. No, they are now monsters that are conjured up whenever a scene needs to be pumped up by a chase sequence or a big battle in the final act where we see a small-scale Kaiju style battle taking place with our human characters running around their stomping feet. The second thing they never succeeded at was good characterization. Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) and Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) are bland and uninteresting throughout all three films. Owen furrows his brow and actively makes friends and promises with dinosaurs, a point that Dr. Ian Malcolm questions frequently. Claire worked at Jurassic World, sure, but I just saw this film and I still can’t tell you anything about her as a person whatsoever. Yes, she feels guilty for helping bring about pain and destruction to Dinosaurs- but that’s about it.

So, what do you do when your remaining main characters have almost zero believable chemistry or personality? You bring back the characters that did have those things. While I personally am glad to see the big three back on the silver screen for the first time since the original film, I left the theater asking, at what cost? Alan Grant is given almost nothing to do and the script treats him like he’s a loser in life outside of his excavation digs. C’mon Trevorrow, don’t do my boy dirty like that. Sam Neill still had the affable grumpiness and charm, but the film around him didn’t care. Laura Dern’s Ellie Sattler was also a nice return, but again, what for? Other than nostalgia-bait? No disrespect to Laura Dern, though. Dinosaurs eat Man, Woman inherits the Earth after all.

In the movie’s defence though, there were some things that were so ridiculous that they had me hollering with laughter in the theater. I doubt that was the intended result, but when you give a raptor the exact same framing in a shot as the infamous window jump from the third Jason Bourne film- what did you expect me to do? I also did enjoy the scene where Claire is sneaking away from a creepy looking Therizinosaurus. It’s a large herbivore with long claws that essentially function as swords for its fingertips. There were some decently executed chase sequences too, and the CGI was never exactly bad per se, but again, the magic is dead folks. I cannot truly give this film my recommendation, it didn’t make me lose hope like Rise of Skywalker did, but it certainly didn’t inspire any either.

Cameron Geiser is an avid consumer of films and books about filmmakers. He'll watch any film at least once, and can usually be spotted at the annual Traverse City Film Festival in Northern Michigan. He also writes about film over at www.spacecortezwrites.com.